I have spoken before about the fact that the two direct predictors of delinquent behavior are past offenses and associating with delinquent peers. In attempts to remove some of that peer influence, therapists and families often work to involve kids in prosocial activities, and they should. However, not all activities are created equal.
The recent case of the soccer referee in Utah who was killed when he was punched by a player reminded me of a caution I give to therapists and families. In the Utah case, there was a history of violence in the soccer league toward officials in the form of player violence and fan fury. In such situations, the soccer team and the fans may support violent behavior and negate the effort to remove the child from such an influence.
In other cases, it's very common for parents and therapists to push for a child to be employed, a seemingly good choice. However, there may be other kids employed at the same place who are also getting into trouble and use breaks at work as a time to use drugs.
I don't want to suggest that sports are bad or that employment is bad. I am suggesting that if your child has a history of getting into trouble, you may not want to accept at face value that the new activity is a step in the right direction. I have had clients say they wanted a job and found out that their friends all worked at the same place, and the manager sold drugs. Just as you should diligently assess your child's friends, you must also assess the new activity. Are the kids on the team violent or is that prevalent in the league? Who are the child's coworkers? What do they do on breaks or when they take out the trash at work? Each of these questions may require you to go and investiage, take names, ask about people, watch what's going on and make your assessment.
If you are trying to get a child involved in a prosocial activity; that's great. I only offer these words of caution so that your tremendous effort yields the result you want for you and your family.
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